This group believes in “calling people in”.
Our “bigger ‘We'”, as some people put it, is people who have a connection to Manhattan Beach and are concerned about hatred and fear in our neighborhoods, communities and municipality. The concern might include bullying of children, “othering” and exclusion, hate crimes and racial violence, and might be about the past or present.
It is precisely out of this concern that we strive to maintain a welcoming, constructive environment in our all discussion spaces. At a time of such inequity, grief, change and possibility – here and everywhere – we are coming together to help make our little coastal enclave a place of compassion and courage. Here are some of the ways we practice mutual respect and work to build trust:
Assumptions
- History matters (it’s how we got here).
- Democracy is a practice.
- Understanding the beliefs and emotions that inform our opinion makes us better thinkers and better communicators.
- Aligning our actions with our values is sometimes hard. (Do unto others… )
Agreements
Instead of the overly-bureaucratic “Robert’s Rules”, we employ a set of hand-made, democratically developed agreements that guide and shape our conversations, They allow us to prioritize effective communication over procedure and, rather than being set in stone, can evolve as we learn what works:
- Confidentiality: The intentions we bring to the conversation also inform our words and trustworthiness when we talk about that conversation with others. This is a no-gossip zone.
- We’re here as individuals: We are not representing our employers or the offices we hold.
- Make space, take space: In this conversation, we practice making space for the contributions of others and taking the space to make our own contributions.
- We can’t be articulate all the time: Sometimes, we don’t even know what we think or feel until we try to articulate it: to say it out loud or write it down. We agree to give ourselves and others permission to forward our thinking through our participation in the conversation.
- Speak for ourselves/open with listening: We agree to speak from our own experiences and not for other people or communities; when others speak, we listen with the intention of hearing their experience.
- Intent vs. Impact: Our words can have a negative impact despite our good intentions. We agree to participate in courageous, productive conversations in which we may be told when we have unintentionally said something that had an undesirable impact on others.
- Expect a lack of closure: The conversation, and any of our own takeaways, is what we leave with.